"Ugh, I'm Such A SWUG," Announces Girl With a 3.9 And Offers From McKinsey And Nielsen

EVANSTON-- Senior Anna Penderson told her friends Tuesday afternoon that she is “officially” a senior washed up girl, according to witness reports.

“Ugh, I’m such a SWUG,” she declared while poring over her econometrics notes. “Like, I don’t even care about anything. I’m so… over it.”

When pressed about her “A” average and multiple job offers from top consulting and analytics firms, Penderson pointed out that “it’s like whatever, you just don’t get the SWUG life.”

“And tonight, I’m not even going to the Deuce because I’m so over college boys,” Penderson continued, even thought it was a Tuesday so her point was irrelevant. “I’m just gonna have some wine with my main SWUGs!”

Penderson refused to confirm nor deny that she bases all her life choices on a combination of New Girl and Girls, but did point out that she barely put any makeup on this morning.