You thought you could get rid of me, but I’m back. And I’m here to fill your hairy little chunk heads with even MORE places you might get murdered on campus.
All in Freshman Guide
You thought you could get rid of me, but I’m back. And I’m here to fill your hairy little chunk heads with even MORE places you might get murdered on campus.
I don’t care if it is in broad daylight, you will always have at least a 60% chance of being murdered in Bobb.
If you’re trying to tell me that I stink, SAY IT TO MY FACE. Actually, don’t, I’ll start crying immediately if you do.
No one else in the bathroom cares about your presence as much as you do. Whereas they’re just there to dispel a regrettable Plex Burrito, you’re a gender-pioneer! Fun!
8:30 a.m. - 5:00 p.m., Monday through Friday, but really, why bother?
Moving your loved one to an assisted living facility is as tough a decision as you will ever face.
"One mistake some Northwestern students make is to dig for treasure under the sorority house of Delta Delta Delta, since it reminds students of the Nile delta."
They harassed you at the student org fair. They’ve invaded your dorms in the dead of night to “rehearse”. And now, as peak a cappella season draws near, it's time to fight back.
Step 1: Be in California because that’s where Kardushians are.
"As soon as you lock eyes with a student rep, they will see you as a human being. A human being they can take complete control of.
“If you play with fire, you might get burned, but I personally think it feels kinda nice.”
-Sir Fraser Stoddart
Though you may only walk the hallowed halls of Fisk and Locy for four years, the drum echoes will continue for years afterward.
Guarding the rock for more than 24 hours comes with some extra perks.
No pain no gain-ing a spot on our heinous writing team. RUSH SHERMAN AVE 2017.
A long-hallowed Northwestern tradition: Dropping those loser friends like a sack of steaming garbage as soon as you realize they actually suck.
"Society may try to judge you for your obsession with a college A Capella group, but it’s totally a double-standard."
"Go to the activities fair and put your email down for every single club just in case."