Keg Week 2013: A Review of Dinner at The Keg

A little over a year ago, when The Keg was first taken from us by The Unspeakables, the Sherman Ave editors made an unprecedented trip to  TKOE for dinner. The dinner was, surprisingly, generally devoid of puking sorostitutes or passed out freshmen. In fact, it was fairly delish-daddy.

With that in mind we present a totally serious review of #KegDin.

Service: There were literally zero other customers, probably because it was a Wednesday around 6 p.m. and not any time on a Monday or a Saturday night. Upon walking in, we looked for a waitress or waiter or server or busboy or human or dog or reptile or pile of vomit. No one. After about 30 seconds a waitress walked over and told us we “could sit wherever want.” Like all the classy joints. After that we were waited on hand-and-foot by a slightly depressing but generally acceptable 30-something woman. She brought water in the pitchers. Yeah. They use those urine-baskets for WATER.

Food: Surprisingly nommy. The burger was big and juicy (NOT A FUCKING EUPHEMISM, K?) and the fries were small parts of potatoes that were fried. The ketchup was good. I like ketchup.

Atmosphere: Have you ever been to a funeral where no one showed up and you’re not sure why you’re there because clearly everyone hates that person but you were kinda drunk every time you hung out with them so you thought they were alright but now you realize you’ve made an awful mistake and oh god why are you here?

Price: Dirt cheap brah. Like, $5 for a big-ass burger (different from a big ass-burger #Medill) with fries and a drink. Other shit was cheap too. Probably because they make all their money by overcharging blackout ETHS students for awesome shooters.

Overall: Four out of five stars. If it was open, I’d totally still eat there. But I’d probably pregame it.