Man Who Gets Off to Leaked Celebrity Nudes Calls Kim Kardashian "Classless"

In response to Kim Kardashian’s now-infamous Paper photoshoot, local man Kyle Jacobs, 27, bravely took to Twitter to criticize Kardashian’s actions.

“Kim K is such a slut!!! What is her daughter going 2 think?? #classless,” Jacobs tweeted late last evening.

He proceeded to critique Kardashian’s body, questioning the authenticity of her “assets,” and shared his disbelief that her husband, rapper Kanye West, would allow his wife to do the photoshoot: “@kanyewest I would never let my babymama show the world her bday suit!! Das just for meee lol.” West did not respond.

A few months prior to this tweet, Jacobs had also provided commentary on the celebrity iCloud hacking scandal via an insightful Facebook status: “look, i’m not saying leaking celeb pics is right, i’m just sayin thx 2 the guy who did ;);)”

Jacobs declined to comment on the inherent discrepancy between his stances on the two instances of celebrity nudes, but reporters were able to get a statement from his mother at the home they share.

“I raised my son to respect women," Jacobs' mother said, "but only when those women act like proper ladies.”

Mrs. Jacobs then went outside to empty a trash can full of tissues and a value-sized bottle of lotion.

-Ammonia$ta Dribbling and Urethra Franklin