“Dillo Won’t Be the Same This Year,” Says Freshman Who Has No Idea What Dillo is Like Usually
Dillo Day: The only time when Northwestern students can really kick back and jam out. I just heard that apparently there’s this “virus” going around, and as it is sadly not “boogie fever,” Dillo Day cannot happen in person this year. But when I heard the festival was being moved online, I knew I had to say something. An online Dillo Day will not be the same. A lot of people have told me that as a freshman who’s never been and doesn’t really have any idea what Dillo Day is like, I’m unqualified to give this opinion. And you know what I say to them? I usually just change the subject.
Dillo Day is the one day of the year when the whole campus, north and south, comes together despite our differences. Wait, is it really just one day? I know it’s called Dillo Day and not Dillo Days, but it’s gotta be at least a whole weekend right? How could there be so much hype around it if it’s just one day? Well whatever, it’s super important even if it is only one day. But it’s probably two days.
Dillo Day is the time of year when the hottest artists in the country come to perform on our campus, I’m pretty sure. Artists like Coldplay, Beyonce, Harry Styles, and even The Beatles. And they perform and we get to hang out with them and everyone gets really good seats. But while the performances are great, every student knows that the real reason we love Dillo Day so much is because of the world famous food trucks that come and line Sheridan Road, giving out free Asian fusion dishes and funnel cakes. It’s the one day of the year when drinking is allowed no matter how old you are, and all drugs are legal. This is all based on what my older brother told me and he never lies, so I know it would’ve been rad. But they just had to move it online.
With a “virtual” Dillo Day, how am I supposed to get invited on stage by Bruno Mars and become best friends with him? How am I supposed to get laid several times by everyone I have a crush on? How am I supposed to enter the raffle where one lucky student gets to smoke with Morty in his mansion? And where am I supposed to pick up my free dirtbike that I just have to assume they hand out to everyone? I guess I’ll just have to get blackout drunk alone in my room, just like I do every night. Awesome.
Maybe the lesson we can take from this is to never take the good times for granted. Someday we will be on the other side of this, all together on campus again. And when that happens, we can treat everyday like it’s Dillo Day, being excellent to each other, spreading joy, and partying like it’s the last night on earth. It’ll be hard to do without the dirtbikes, but I think it just might be worth a shot.
