May 23

May 23 A Tale of Two Dillos: Sherman Ave's 2016 Dillo Diaries

Culture, General Heinous, Music, Northwestern

Writer's Bosco Feldstein and Musfasa D'Francesco both went to Dillo Day. D'Francesco had a average dillo day while Feldstein pulled a page out of Robert Forst's book and took the road less traveled: he went to his sister's graduation in New York City first. Their very different days are chronicled below:

Mufasa D'Francesco's Dillo Diary

6:30 AM: Wake up from a nightmare that Dillo Day is canceled. Checked the clock and went back to bed.
7:30 AM: Wake up again because I get dehydrated when I sleep. Go back to bed because I’m not one of those energetic alcoholics that can wake up at sunrise to drink a shitty Tequila Sunrise.
8:30 AM: Actually wake up. Immediately begin chugging one of those fancy energy “revitalizer” drinks from Starbucks because drinking Red Bull goes against my personal ethics.
9:00 AM: Arrive at a Dillo breakfast. There’s too much social interaction happening this soon after getting out of bed. Freaky.
9:30 AM: The pizza bagels I brought to the breakfast aren’t very popular. Apparently people will drink Absinthe at 9:30 in the morning, but it’s just too early for pizza bagels.
10:00 AM: Run home to use my own bathroom. Not drunk enough to use a portapotty yet. Getting there though.
10:15 AM: Run to 7/11 to get a slurpee to spike with Skol. If I’m not going to puke from alcohol consumption, I’m going to puke from extreme sugar intake. That’s a promise.
10:20 AM: Realize I lost my straw-spoon contraption for the slurpee. Run back to 7/11. Just because it’s Dillo, doesn’t mean you can be a complete idiot.
10:30 AM: Begin to hit up the frats. Being in one myself, it’s my obligation to go to my own fraternity’s party and being hostile to any outside males in our party for the next 3 hours. Haha, just kidding, we’re chill.
11:00 AM: The spiked slurpee was a good move. I’m also not having any social anxiety at this party. It’s looking like a good day.
11:30 AM: Leave the party to refill my slurpee. I inspired some friends to do the same. You’re welcome, 7/11.
12:00 PM: I’ve reached the point where I feel comfortable using a portapotty. Chillin.
12:30 PM: Walking around with a drunk friend who’s drunk enough for it to be funny but also not a danger to herself. Some light entertainment.
1:30 PM: Meet up with some amigos. One of them is tripping on acid, but in a cute and cuddly way. I eat a half of a pot brownie that smells stronger than it is.
2:00 PM: Not at the venue yet. Missing the Mowgli’s. Thank fucking God. Would’ve ruined my day.
2:30 PM: Still missing the Mowgli’s, still happy about it.
2:45 PM: At the concert. Eating a pizza. Tastes way better than the Mowgli’s music sounds.
3:00 PM: Reach the main stage just as the Mowgli’s finish their set. I guess the stage didn’t collapse underneath them. Oh well. Maybe next year.
3:30 PM: Anderson Paak gets on. Kills it. Everyone feels cooler listening to him.
4:00 PM: I think the dude in front of me is getting pissed off because I’m dancing too hard. To hell with that guy.
5:00 PM: End up in Norris eating Jimmy John’s with friends, including the one tripping on acid who provides the quote of the day. Upon returning from the restroom, he informs us, “The sink was chrome, which was a little scary.” Endearing.
6:00 PM: Take a nap in the sorority quad. The birds sound beautiful. I’m still stoned. I get a box of free donuts from Theta’s house mom, who reminds me to stay sober. What a geed.
6:45 PM: Dial Up on the main stage. Fuck yeah, Dial Up.
7:45 PM: Didn’t think I’d go to Cashmere Cat, but I did. Didn’t think I would dance with that dude on a rainbow tank top clearly on Molly, but I did. Always say yes to life.
9:00 PM: Ended up at Taco Bell. Not drunk, just reckless.
10:30 PM: Sprint back to the lakefill to hear the end of Schoolboy Q’s set. All I experienced was him blasting “All Right” and then leaving the stage, so as far as I’m concerned, his set was all Kendrick Lamar covers. Gnarly.
11:30 PM: Got home. Bed. Nice.

Bosco Feldstein's Dillo Diary

9:00 AM: Starting the big day a little late I guess! Oh well, I'll catch up. This hotel is so nice! Interior design leaves something to be desired, though.
10:00 AM: for hotel soap, this is pretty nice. AVEENO makes great products. I wonder where we're going to brunch!
11:00 AM: brunch with my grandpa! Omelette, apple juice.
12PM: We say goodbye to my sister. I’m so proud of her, and I can’t believe she’s already graduated! Those years sure flew by.
1PM: I pack up my stuff and we check out of the hotel. Off to the airport!
2PM: Boy, LaGuardia sure is a disgusting place.
3PM: God, this place is a terrible hot metal dungeon crowded with sweaty Vera Bradley monsters.
4PM: WHY DID WE GET HERE SO EARLY. SECURITY LINES NEVER ACTUALLY TAKE THIS LONG, MOM. THERE IS SUCH THING AS BEING TOO EARLY.
5PM: What? I can get an Auntie Ann’s foot-long pretzel dog using your credit card? I love you, mom. I love you, LaGuardia.
6PM: on the plane!!!!!! DILLO HERE I COME!!
7PM: Pregaming with my mom on the plane. We got some judgmental looks, but I was too preoccupied with a fierce game of iPad scrabble.
7PM (TIME CHANGE BITCH!): Ah, sweet home Chicago. Uber time!
8PM: I rush to my room, quickly put on my Dillo outfit. I text my friends, ready to party!!!!
8:30PM: What? Napping? What do you mean you’re too tired? What do you mean there are no more darties? What do you mean it has to be daytime to have a darty?
9PM: Why is Schoolboy Q singing that one Kendrick Lamar song I know?
10PM: I’ve walked to the beach, dead sober, still in denial of the day I missed. Next year, Dillo