Derrick Rose Hits Ground Slightly Too Hard, Explodes into Mist of Blood

CHICAGO, Il -- Chicago Bulls fans were disappointed last Friday when point guard Derrick Rose hit the ground slightly too hard and exploded into a mist of blood this past week.

“Oh well,” said Bulls fan Franklin Marlow. “It’s Derrick Rose, what do you expect?”

Rose, an infamously injury prone player, is considered one of the best point guards in the NBA, having won the league’s MVP award during the 2010-2011 season. In the past two seasons, however, Rose has played only 15 games, which would be acceptable if this was football.

“Derrick has bounced back from worse,” said Bulls Coach Tom Thibodeau, of the player who is now simply several puddles of human blood, “Bulls fans should be patient, D-Rose will be back in shape in no time.”

After mopping him up off the floor, the team will be forced to make a game time decision as to whether or not Rose will play in Friday’s match-up against the Portland Trail Blazers.