Your TA is grading attendance- Without it, you never shall pass.
You’re not hot enough to trade “O’s” for “A’s”
So go the fuck to class.
-
Your parents are paying to educate you-
Not to dream of P. Middleton’s ass.
So calm your salami or throw on some jeans
And go the fuck to class.
-
Musicians, your ensembles await you-
They all want a piece of Dat Brass.
Go blow with your fellow tromboners
And go the fuck to class.
-
No one cares that you went to the frats last night
No one cares that you drank your own mass.
The world doesn’t fucking revolve around you-
Puke it out, get some toast, go to class.
-
You’re missing Renee’s awesome lectures,
Or Lane Fenrich’s wise, subtle sass.
Now Morty is so disappointed in you
That you aren’t the fuck in your class.
-
In a few days, when midterms come at you,
You’ll be glad that you got off your ass.
On your deathbed you’re not going to wish you could sleep-
So go the fuck to class.
-
Outside the wind’s throwing a tantrum;
Frozen slush and dirt blanket the grass.
Get off Sherman Ave. Get on Sheridan Road.
You’re fucking late to class.
_____________________________________________________________________
Pay no attention to the heinousness behind the curtain.
