My Moms, Ranked

1. My Mom I love you mommy. There’s not a day where I don’t think of the sacrifices you’ve made for the family and how grateful I am to have you in my life. The time you checked for monsters under my bed, the time you kissed my boo boo after I scraped my knee, the time you took that bullet for me in front on the ATM. You were an angel and now you are literally an angel. Rest easy in heaven, Agatha Taurus. You are safe now. God knows it too.

Honorable mention: My Stepmom

I hate you, Brenda. You are not my mom. I don’t care if dad loves you, I will never love you. Remember that time you asked me if I ever was going to finish that fan fiction I’ve been working on. A. That’s none of your fucking business B. I’ll finish it when I’m fucking ready C. It’s not fan fiction. It’s a pilot about the Fringe Division of the FBI based in Boston. D. No, I told you, I’ve never seen the show Fringe. E. GO FUCK YOURSELF.