With the new NBA season up us, and as the most trusted name in expert professional basketball analysis and predictions on the Web today, we decided to give you a heads up about how this season will go. Check out how the conference standings will look come May, alongside some expertly crafted haikus because of course.
EAST
1. Miami
LeBron’s greatness hides
The chink in the Heat’s armor:
Spoelstra has a chode
2. Indiana
Dear Mister Hibbert,
u r kind of cute. tee hee.
#intogodzilla
3.Chicago
D Rose hurt his knee;
I hurt my eyes looking at
you, Joakim Noah.
4.Brooklyn
Winning can be tough
When your coach and players are
In AARP.
5.New York
Novak loves threes but
Not as much as D’Antoni
Hates Stoudemire
6.Orlando
Hope in Orlando?
Oladipo is future
Nah, plays like Reece Gaines
7.Charlotte
Bobcats have high hopes
JKTANKINGFORWIGGINS
Unless Jordan plays?
8.Cleveland
Kyrie is Cleveland
In footsteps of superstars
Tim Couch Brady Quinn
Extra haiku - Milwaukee
First name: Giannis
Last Name: Antetokounmpo
Nickname: Alphabet
WEST
1.Houston
Superman is great
But the beard is greater
Yao Ming weeps softly
2.Oklahoma City
I feared the beard
Clean-shaven, not quite so much
Fisher is 39?
3. San Antonio
Tony Parker pulls
Marco Belinelli’s Babe.
Duncan’s lovely eyes
4.Clippers
The Doctor is in
Must perform surgery on
Lou Amundson’s face
5.Golden State
Steph is wetter than
All the ladies when I
Don’t drop thun thun thuns
6.Denver
Andre Miller’s game
The Game: You just lost it. Ha!
Hard to Miss George Karl
7.Memphis
Siempre Big Marc
Quiere decir esto:
Yo Pau you a bitch
8.New Orleans
Named selves Pelicans.
Should automatically get
CP3 back now.
