Sherman Ave Exclusive: What's In This SPAC Bro's Gym Bag?

We know him well. With a protein powder milkshake in his hand and a dream to become huge in his heart, he joins a congregation in the first-floor gym at SPAC. I gathered the confidence to interview the Alpha SPAC bro about one of his most intimate things: his gym bag. To become as physically and spiritually powerful as he is, these are the seven items he swears by:

1.     Loose granulated protein

“It’s literally all I eat. I don’t even keep it in a bag or a tin, as you can see. It’s just powdered protein all over my bag that I like to scoop up and eat with my hands, or just play around in, like it’s a sandbox.”

2.     L.L.Bean Cargo shorts

“This is what I wear out of the gym for my walk back no matter the weather, because I don’t get cold. Pure style. Right?”

3.     Gloves

“No way in hell am I touching the same rod as other men. Sweetheart, that’s gay.”

4.     His high school’s flag

“No cap, I just miss going out there with the team on Friday nights… cheerleaders screaming, begging for my Snapchat username… student section rowdy as fuck. Wow, I’m hard.” 

5.   A GoPro Hero7 Black Limited Edition HD Waterproof Camera

“All the pics that I have on my Tinder profile are ultra-HD gym selfies that I take at SPAC. But I FaceTune them.” 

6.   His lucky condom

“Used this boy the first time I emptied my sack. I keep the condom to this day, no matter where I am or who I’m with.”

7.     An Enema

“Part of getting huge is staying skinny. This shit slaps… my body fat percentage plummeted after I started using this daily. It’s simple and easy to use.”