1. Pop bubble wrap. Alternately, place bubble wrap under a rug in an area with heavy foot traffic and watch.
2. Purchase a stick of your ex’s deodorant of choice. Apply. Sniff your own armpits and pretend you’re not forever alone.
3. Open a new jar of peanut butter. Draw a smiley face in the vast, unsullied expanse of deliciousness. Close jar of peanut butter.
4. Listen to the soundtrack of “Annie: The Musical” as long as you can take it. Understand that nothing you will do in life will ever be as heinous as this creation. Do you feel better yet?
5. Hug a dog.*
6. Climb a tree. Look down on everyone. Feel superior to all of the peasants who are not in the tree.
7. Masturbate. Or pee. Both are nice.
8. Finish your paper. Print your paper. Hold warm paper up to your cheeks and sigh in happiness.
9. Open jar of peanut butter. Smile because it’s like a message from Past You.
10. Remove all clothing except your funkiest undies. Groove to Beyoncé.
BAM. Now you’re happy.
*Do not attempt to hug a cat. Just Google the cat.
