Class Of 2017 Already Disappointed About Next Year's Commencement Speaker

Evanston, IL—Following Tuesday’s announcement that Seth Meyers will be speaking at the Class of 2016’s commencement in the Spring, members of the class of 2017 voiced frustration over the choice of an as-yet-unknown individual to speak at their commencement next year. Students felt that the unnamed individual, while certainly accomplished, just doesn’t quite generate the same type of excitement as Meyers. The students added that while they’re sure the individual is an eloquent speaker and will impart valuable advice, it would be almost impossible to match the hilarity and wit of Meyers’s upcoming speech.

“I mean, I have nothing but respect for our currently non-existent speaker,” said Junior Mark Kalpowitz. “But to be honest, I was expecting someone a little better, maybe someone like Seth Meyers.”

At press time, a think piece imploring the Class of 2017 to show the speaker more respect was in the process of being edited.