Student Starting to See Parents as Pathetic Shells of Real People

ALLENTOWN, PA—Showing a new appreciation for their experiences and lives prior to having children, Weinberg student Emily Lipson recently found herself beginning to see her mom and dad as pathetic shells of real people.  “This is really the first time I’ve stopped looking at my parents as the authority figures I grew up with and started to recognize that they are sad husks of actual human beings, with their own pitiful ambitions, interests, and worries,” said the twenty-one year old statistics major, reflecting on a recent conversation where her parents expressed disappointment that they had not gotten to do enough hiking this year.  “I guess throughout my childhood I thought of them as these people who knew all the answers and could fix anything.  It’s only now that I’m actually seeing them as the sorry excuses for unique individuals that they are.”  At press time Lipson was reportedly listening to her father explain his new job title while her mother entertained herself by browsing local real estate listings.