Ted Cruz Hates Avocados, Finally Loses Young Female Vote

Des Moines, Iowa – After revealing in an interview with the Des Moines Register that he despises “avocado,” Ted Cruz experienced a backlash from females ages 18-25. It looked as if Cruz was going to secure the young female vote until the news broke. Tracy Fisher, 21, was a devout Cruz supporter until, while on her way home from a barre class, she learned that he was anti-avocado. “I have lost all trust in him and his ability to lead this country,” Fisher said. “It just makes me wonder where else our views differ.” We reached out to Cruz, but he declined to comment regarding his stance on Soul Cycle and snapchatting the temperature. With Cruz’s immediate drop in the polls, it appears he may be (avocado) toast.